The Shadow Side of this Biz
Podcast
Episode:
The Shadow Side of this Biz
by Danielle Searancke
We are in Scorpio season, which I love! Today’s episode will touch on the shadow side of being a spiritual entrepreneur. It is based on a question I received in the Spirit School Collective, my monthly membership, for a Business Q&A session.
Most of what I share about my business is the exciting parts of the journey. There are metrics to show that my business is successful. but I am also nine years into my journey. In addition to the magic that happens, there are parts of it that are not so positive. I’ve been thinking a lot about the dichotomy we experience where we are thriving in one part of life, while consistently struggling in another. In this episode, I am sharing some of the challenging and painful experiences on my entrepreneurship path to give a more balanced perspective on what it has entailed.
The question asked was, “I consider you successful as a business sister. You speak and do a lot of things that are very generous, and I know deeply you are a giving soul. How has that generosity of yourself healing sister wounds by supporting other women in their businesses impacted you? And what is the return of spiritual energy for you?”
Episode:
The Spirit School Lecture Series: Spirit School September Q&A
Spirit School Podcast
In this episode:
Things can be going so well in one area while we struggle in another.
I have had magic unfolding as I acquire a physical space in Squamish.
Meanwhile, I have also been slighted in the past few weeks.
I’m healing and getting better at seeing myself the way you see me.
I personally have never experienced the same generosity that I give other people.
My intention for Spirit School was to create what I wish I had in my development.
The Spirit School Collective is an ecosystem that is supportive and non-competitive.
Spirit School is part of a vision to change the space of lightworking and mediumship.
Situations like this make me want to promote others and share the light more.
Declare that you will thrive, even in the shadow.
Ignore vanity metrics and focus on the audience you have now.
Spirit School Links
Join us on the new FREE Spirit School platform: https://myspiritschoolcollective.com/plans/
Join the Spirit School Collective: https://www.squamishmedium.com/spiritschoolcollective
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Scorpio Season
Hello Spirit School. How are you all doing? How is your October going? Of course, we are in a Scorpio season by the time you listen to this. I love Scorpio season. I love it. My little girl is a Scorpio. She's an absolute queen. I am a Scorpio rising, I think. I have to say, I've been having some really strong fears that my mom has my birth time wrong, and if she has it wrong by even four minutes, I may not be Scorpio Rising, but there's no way to find out. I've looked into it. So, I'm leaning into, I am a Scorpio, Rising. It resonates with me a lot. I love Scorpio season, and funny enough, my son was supposed to be a Scorpio, but he came a month early and he ended up being a little Libra dude. So, here we are in Scorpio season.
Events in the Free Spirit School Community
Ooh, this is gonna be an interesting one. So, in my membership, the Spirit School Collective, of course, I have a community called Spirit School, which is free. Link down below if you wanna join. We're actually gonna do some fun stuff in November and December. We're gonna be doing a five day workshop series on the Confident Light Worker. So, building your confidence as a light worker. This is for anyone, even if you aren't out there practicing your gifts. And then in December, we're gonna do Angel Week. So, we've already done Spirit Guide Week and sit in the Power Week. This is all free. This is all in the free space.
The Spirit School Collective Monthly Membership
And then with the Collective is my membership I've had for, I think, like 27 months now, I've had it. It's got almost a hundred people in it, and it's absolutely incredible. And this is where the folks that join in that space get to hang out with me weekly. We do practice sessions, different classes, Q+As. and then also a more intimate container where they get access to me, and to each other, which is mostly what the community is about. So, today's actually spun off of a question that was posed in the Q+A, which is happening here in a couple hours. And it is related to business, a business Q+A.
Spiritual Entrepreneurship
So, I love spiritual entrepreneurship. I will likely not be running The Calling again, which is my entrepreneurship program. I'm gonna have to think about a different way that I'm going to teach business, because I love it. I love teaching business and I love business as a whole. It's very creative for me. It's a lot of fun for me. It keeps things like really interesting for me. I'm somebody who really thrives off of a lot of changes and keeping things really fresh, which is also why I love the membership because I change the format all the time. And so like right now we're meeting weekly, but things change all the time in that space.
Today’s Topic: The Shadow Side of Spiritual Business
Today's question came through this Q&A, and then when I read you the question, it might sound like I'm trying to like brag or anything like that. Hopefully you guys have been listening long enough to know that that's not my jam. That's not my go-to. But I do feel very passionate about talking about this topic and this conversation because I've kind of reached a point in my career and in my experience where I have felt pretty hurt, a lot, in what I am doing. And I think that what people see, and what I let people see is the side of my business that is very glowy. It's very successful. I'm not afraid to say that. You know, I launched my retreat in my membership. I have 32 spots, 19 filled already. And I have over 200 people on the wait list for any spare spots. There are a lot of metrics within my business that you could definitely say it's very successful and I do think that there's a lot of reasons for that. Of course, I also wanna give you the disclaimer that I'm nine years in to my journey. So, what we have today as a business under Spirit School and Squamish Medium, is nine years in its evolution. So, that's a while. That's almost a decade. That's a long time.
Behind the Scenes of a Spiritual Business
So, let me first and foremost say that, but there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes that is not that great. I'll be honest with you, I've been thinking a lot about this, about the dichotomy that we're always coexisting in, how, in some areas things are going so well, possibly even better than they have ever gone before. And then on the other side of the coin, in our lives, there are some things that we struggle with, and we just can't catch a break on, and cycles keep repeating and these patterns keep coming up. And it's always interesting for me how well things can be going in one area and not so much in the other. And the same is very true in business.
Spirit School’s Upcoming In Person Location
So, yes, you know, I've had so much, and you heard me, maybe it was two episodes ago, share the experience about how I'm going to be having a physical school, like a location spear school in Squamish, waterfront. She's gonna happen. I don't have it secured yet. We're in very early stages of negotiation. But I don't have a doubt that the magic that has unfolded will keep me from having this space and creating Spirit School and the long term vision I've had for Spirit School. Of course, this podcast is almost four years old already. Can you believe it?
Less Positive Experiences in a Spiritual Business
And then on the other side, I've been slighted quite a few times in the past few weeks. I've been called names. I've had people bail on their commitments with me. I've been like wildly offended by certain things that have happened as well. And these are things that kind of happen in the undercurrents of the business and holding space for hundreds of people at one time and running a program and a membership, and a free community, and a podcast, and Instagram account and a newsletter, and a team of four now. We're four of us here at Spirit School.
It's a lot, and I think that people may think it's not a lot, and that I may like make it look really easy. I actually had that comment yesterday. Somebody said to me, You make it look so easy. I'm like, Do I? Because it's not easy. So, maybe I need to talk a little bit more about the specifics of like, what isn't necessarily going easy. I don't know. We'll see. We'll have the conversation today. I'm sure I'll get a lot of feedback on what you guys are interested in hearing more about.
Growth, and the Team at Spirit School
But you know, I have to say too that without my team, without Andrea (@concreteandcrystals), and Danielle (@beautiful.intuitive), who's currently on maternity leave, and Christie Pike (@soulflowbranding), who's been with me since absolutely day one, without them, I absolutely could not do everything that I do. So, let me just give a shout out to them, first and foremost, because without them, I would not have Spirit School. I would probably still have a podcast and be doing readings, maybe smaller programs, but I wouldn't have the membership. I wouldn't be able to bring in so many people into my larger programs. I couldn't do it all because there's just too much to do behind the scenes. Even just staying on top of messages is a full-time job in itself between Facebook, I don't even answer Facebook messages, so please don't message me on Facebook, personal or business. I just can't. But you know, Instagram and then all the stuff that's happening in the Spirit School platform as well.
The Shadow Side of Spiritual Entrepreneurship
This is going to bring up a little bit of the shadow side of spiritual entrepreneurship. I'm gonna get into why I do what I do and how I do it, and the real intention behind why I have the Collective, and why I show up the way that I do. So, hopefully this doesn't scare a lot of people off, because I still think spiritual entrepreneurship is the best thing in the world. Actually, I was just talking to a client on Voxer. I have a few one-on-one clients, and she was saying, Yeah, I just kind of figured that when you hop on your path and you found your purpose that everything comes really easily. And I'm like, Oh, no. The bigger the reward, the bigger the payoff, like the bigger the problems too. They seem to really be running in parallel with one another, let me tell you.
Having a Business Compared with Being a Parent
But no, it's not easy, but because it is so beautiful and it's so joyful, and it fills you with purpose and energy, it's worth it, every time. It's kind of like having kids, you know? They are hard work, having kids. Maybe there's some moms cringing right now. I can't believe she just said that. But honestly, it could be really hard being a mom. It's a very thankless job, and you don't get a lot of praise, like what I'm about to read you. There's a lot of praise attached to that. It makes it very worthwhile and easy to prioritize. But you know, kids are so worth it. I mean, my God, it's like walking on eggshells half the time because you don't know what you're gonna wake up to every day with young ones. But every night, when you watch them sleep and they're so peaceful, and they're growing, and they're learning, and they're thriving, it's so satisfying. So, a business is very much the same. You know, there are a lot of people who compare business to being parents. It's like your baby. You'll hear that quite a bit too.
Success, Healing, and Supporting Other Women
All right, so let's move on with it. So, I got this question that says, I consider you successful as a business sister. You speak and do a lot of things that are very generous, and I know deeply you are a giving soul. How has that generosity of yourself healing sister wounds by supporting other women in their businesses impacted you? And what is the return of spiritual energy for you? Because, you know, you are very unlike other entrepreneurs. There is so much self-promotion in marketing that I see on social media and instead, you are including others in your promotion. I feel it's an aspect of you that has come from healing. I wonder if there's an awakening or an origin story in that mentality which I greatly admire.
Sharing Success Stories from the Spirit School Collective
Okay, so she's talking about how on my Instagram, I'm always sharing my students. You know, like there was a whole bunch of the people in the collective collaborating on different projects and classes and demonstrations. And I did a whole series where I would promote them. And then same with, you know, one of my students gifted me this beautiful collage and I posted it. I'm very giving with my audience. Lynn Tucknies, who was on this podcast, she was able to go full-time guys, full-time, because I share her. And it's not just because of me, but even I was talking to her yesterday and she was like, This is thanks to you. So, she does kind of credit it to me, sharing her.
The Healings Around Seeing Yourself as Others See You
I actually contract quite a bit because I don't like talking about myself in this way and it's very hard for me to talk about myself in this way. It's 11:11 as I'm looking at the clock. So I'm just gonna keep moving forward. But just know it is hard for me to have those strings of words come out. I really contract. I'm still working really hard on my healing of seeing myself like you guys see me, though. I am getting a whole lot better. A whole lot better at this, okay. I promise. So, that's how come she's saying what she does. And then also I have other mediums come co-teach in the collective. And you know, I interview other people in the same space. Like that's not terribly common in our sphere.
Generosity and My Mediumship Journey
So, here's the truth about the origin story around all this. Now I could go way back, but I'm gonna start in the beginning of my journey with mediumship. I personally have never experienced the same generosity that I give other people, ever. Have never been shouted out. I have never had a guest that has a big platform share that they were on my podcast with their audience. Every time a TV series or a podcast or in a magazine, I've had all three of those in the past couple years come forward to offer me opportunities. They have never panned out. Actually, in fact, they have ghosted me. Ultimate dis. Won't even acknowledge receipt of messages type thing.
Creating What I Never Had in the Spiritual Space
So, I say this a lot, and this is just like a case point example of why I do what I do, but I always create what I wish I had had. What I have created with the Spirit School platform, and in particular the Spirit School Collective, my membership, is an ecosystem of mutual support, of not threatening one another, of not being threatened by one another, of watching others do amazing without feeling threatened of your own gifts. I create a space that is non-competitive and that is supportive. And the reason is because I've never had that. And I have always yearned for it. And I actually didn't even know that it was possible until I started teaching classes online and realizing like, Wow, I actually have like this gift of building community and these people like all really love each other. And just the way that I show up, the way that I teach, the way that I share experiences, gives other people permission to be as vulnerable and share their experiences and then see that we're actually more alike than not. Right.
Difficulty Collaborating in the Spiritual Space
So in truth, coming up as a medium, I don't wanna call out names or anything like that. That's where this really gets really tricky for me, because I have done a lot of healing around this, because I did carry a lot of resentment in my heart for a very long time around all of this. And I never really saw people that I admired collaborate and actually experienced very opposite of that. And that's all I'll say around that. But there was never this atmosphere of bringing each other up and really kind of supporting one another, that I personally experienced. Now, that might be out there if you're listening to this, and you're very fortunate if you did end up landing in a space like that, but I personally never did.
Envisioning Long Term Goals in the Spiritual Space
So therefore, the return of spiritual energy that I get is, for some reason, in my whole career, I have always had a long term vision. I've never had a what's next vision. When I sit down and I visualize what the future is for myself, I see myself in my fifties and sixties. I've never seen myself in my thirties and forties, so I've always had this incredibly long-term vision. Luscious Hustle, who are dear friends of mine, love their podcast. If you love human design, go check 'em out. They actually reflected this back to me a couple weeks ago and like I didn't even ask for a compliment of any kind, but they just basically said, You've always had your vision on legacy. And I thought that that was like a really interesting reflection for somebody who only, you know, sees me in my business a little bit. But I'm like, you're right. I have always had such a long term vision.
Creating a Space for Spiritual Development to Thrive
And so when I'm creating a space for people coming up in their spiritual gifts to be in community with other humans and feel supported, and feel not threatened by one another, and feel like you are safe to expand and muck things up, and course correct and pivot, and try again, and grow and expand and try to reach that next level. Like when you have a space that you can thrive in like that, guess what's gonna happen? One day you're gonna fly away from my nest and go create your own communities, and hopefully model some of that same energy that you thrived in when you go off on your own.
Energetic Exchange in the Mediumship Space
Now, that's not always the case, because we don't change that much as humans. Right? But my hope in the energetic exchange is that the mediumship space, that the psychic space, the light working space, becomes one that is reciprocally generous. Because that's the one thing that I have seen really lacking in this space is reciprocity. And reciprocity is actually one of my core values. But that is what I have seen lack so much in this field and in this work is just general reciprocity. And I will tell you, it's ended some of my friendships.
Openness and Transparency in Sharing Experiences
So, where do I wanna go from here? How deep do I wanna go today? Because there's tens of thousands of you that listen now. And so, you know, I don't like talking about some of the more negative things, but I'll just say it like this. In my position with this podcast, and with my community, and with my audience, not only do I have a large audience now, but I have a very engaged audience. A lot of people with large audiences don't have that. They don't have the same level of people signing up for their programs that I have, or in my membership, or on my wait list, et cetera, et cetera. So, there's something about the openness, and the way that I speak, and the way that I share, that people are really drawn to and maybe have been waiting for for a little while.
Feelings of “Not Enoughness” in the Spiritual Space
I will tell you that people who are not of the same mindset will just see that and wanna take it and ride it and then discard it. And that's what I have experienced in my position, constantly. That has taken a lot of healing for me because in the beginning it was very much, Oh my God, they didn't like me. They don't think that I am a peer. There's a lot of not enoughness within me. The deficit was always within me in the beginning when this all started happening. And this started happening when my first mentor, by the way. The podcast has made it blatantly obvious, and I do have Chiron in my seventh one on one relationships in Taurus. So all astrologers out there are like, Yeah, okay, this is probably astrological.
Experiences with my First Spiritual Mentor
I was kind of abused by my first mentor. And I'm just gonna say as it comes. And they might be shocked to ever hear that, and I'm sure that they will one day. And this is not meant to hurt anyone, but I didn't realize how taken advantage of I was until my husband noticed it. Now keep in mind, my husband, he doesn't get all up in my business. He minds his own business and he just kind of lets me do my thing. He does his thing. And we come together as parents. And we come together as husband and wife, and that's pretty much it. He watched us interact one day and he had a lot of red flags. And he said, She's using you. I was like, No, she loves me. No, she's using you. I'm like, keep an eye on that. And then he had my mom talk to me. And my mom's like, I've seen this from the very beginning. Of course she's using you. Like, look what you do for this person. Like you do everything for them. And then, you know, I just get discarded. I'll leave that there.
Non-Reciprocal Exchanges and the Spirit School Podcast
And then we come along into being in a place of influence. And what I have found happen, time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again, has been, bigger names wanna be on my podcast. And then they come on. And then they leave, and never talk to me again, and don't even share that they're on the podcast. And I've had that happen quite a bit. And at the beginning I was like, whatever, there are bigger names than me. What do I care? You know, thank you for coming on. But then it started happening all the time, where I just started feeling like a little bit used.
A Recent Experience with Non-Reciprocal Energy Exchange
There was a very recent experience, and I have to say that this is my last straw. Things will really change after this experience because it was rude. And yeah, I will probably regret talking about this one day, but I'm gonna put it out there because I want you guys to see the other side, and that's why I'm posting this. And I swear that this will loop into why I do what I do, and why I refuse to have these types of things define me and change me. It just reaffirms for me even more of who I am, what I'm doing here, and why I do what I do, how I do it. Okay.
Reaching Out for a Spiritual Podcast Exchange
So, I reached out to somebody who I'd admired for a long time. We had something in common. I reached out on that commonality and I said, Would you be interested in a podcast trade? They wrote back within a few minutes, yes. Oh my God, yes. But can I come on yours like right away, because I have a book deal in the works, and I need metrics for my manager? And then if I interview you on my podcast, it won't air till next year because I record six months out. Fine. Perfect. Now, this is someone who I know you either love or don't, right? Just for certain reasons, which if you know who I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. And for those of you who don't know, I'm so sorry to talk in code.
Putting in Extra Work to Support a Podcast Guest
So I worked really, really, really hard on this episode because I also knew, just based off of waivers and contracts I had to sign to get on their podcast, that they have certain beliefs that are a little bit different than mine. So, I don't care about that. I'm happy to have very different beliefs with somebody, and I worked extra hard on this podcast interview to make sure that our conversation was very interesting, and that they came across as multidimensional, not just focused on one thing, not just doing, saying the same things over and over again. Really adding texture and adding color to the interview because I knew it was gonna be like a little bit of a struggle. And I think I accomplished that and the podcast did very well. I got a ton of feedback on it, and a lot of people saying, Oh my God, I love them. They're amazing, da da. I'm like, perfect. Awesome. I love that. And that's exactly why I wanna have interesting people on my podcast.
The Reciprocal Podcast Interview
So, then it comes time to be on their podcast. I haven't even talked to my assistant about this. She'll probably hear it before she starts editing this, but things really switched. I was doing the interview. They didn't wanna introduce me. They didn't wanna give any context to who I was. It was just share your first story. Okay, so we're diving right in. I share a couple stories. They could not look less interested. They pick up their phone and they start scrolling their phone, during the podcast interview. After about 10 minutes of having me just say nothing but my stories, they say, You know what? I have to go. I'm gonna reschedule this and I'll get right back to you. And never heard from them again, ever.
“That is So Typical:” Real World Experiences
I wrote Christian, you know, Country Clairvoyant. I hope you guys liked his interview. I know that he does talk a lot more than me in that one, and I talk a lot, but he's a good person and I will take good people over popular people any day of the week. And I reached out to him and said, Why are people such assholes? And he said, because they're human. What happened? And I told him what happened, and he just messaged me back saying, Wow, that is so typical. I'm like, it is typical, isn't it? Like how could I avoid, like I live in such a la la land in Spirit School because I create the space that that is not the typical. That is not the norm. That type of move is not normal in Spirit School, but it is out there.
Revisiting the Situation Again After a Positive Week
And funny enough, I wasn't hurt by that situation for a while because right after that person hung up, I had that text from the realtor saying they can get me into Spirit School the next day. I'm calling it Spirit School cuz it's mine. And so the rest of my week was magic after that and it didn't bother me. But then as things started to settle, I was like, Yeah, that's just rude . Like that's just rude. It made me kind of like, look at this.
Seeing Other Lightworkers as Competition
So this question came up at a really good time because I have been really unpacking my experience with mutuals in this space. And it's exactly like my mentor and her mutuals. Whether it's competitive, I don't know what you wanna call it. Or just like seeing each other as like a threat or, I don't know what it is. I can make all the assumptions I want. All I know is I don't really have that. I do know that, like I've had people on who have launched very similar things to me, and I knew sharing them with my audience meant that my audience would go work with them. And I had to come to terms with that and accept that. So, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna share them. It's just like, okay. Some people might choose their program over mine Whatever. You know, the funny thing is, even as I heal through that, there were a few people specifically I could name off the top of my head even, that did sign up for the other person's program instead of mine, but they did mine after, right?
Rejecting Scarcity in the Spiritual Entrepreneurship Space
So, I don't have scarcity in this work because I have seen it with my own eyes. When I have chosen to do what I think was ethical, which was share an amazing person with my audience who trusts me despite the fact that I very well could lose a few clients over it, and did it anyways, it came back to me full circle. Like what is mine will not pass me. And I do absolutely believe that. I'm going to assume, because it's the only thing that makes sense to me, and based off of what I've experienced with some of my previous mentors, is that people do fear sharing other people with their audiences. Like, oh, they sound like they know what they're talking about. Oh, they're actually my peer. Oh, I don't think I can risk this. So, I'm not saying that that's what happened. I'm just making that assumption because it helps me sleep at night. And I don't know. I think I'm right in that, but I could be wrong. I'm open to being wrong. That is the norm out there.
The Larger Vision for Spirit School
And so why do I have Spirit School the way I have it? And why do I continue to promote my students and my peers? And why do I make Spirit School more than about me? Why did I not name Spirit School after me? You know, it's not about me. I've always had a bigger vision in changing the space of light working and of mediumship. So, the people who are in my membership don't act like that. And the people who do have left. It's not an energetic match for them. And I can name them off the top of my head as well. I think that I'm here to be part of a shift in this space.
Being Self-Made in the Spiritual Entrepreneurial Space
I've been hurt so many times and I have yet to have a truly reciprocal experience with a mutual, with a peer. I also get the feeling that I'm meant to create what I'm creating on my own, without a leg up, without a helping hand. Now, I have received a grant before, but I have never had, like you've seen people's like careers take off from a podcast or TV show or like an interview or a magazine spread or anything. And I've never had that. And I always get the sense that everything I have right now is completely self-made. A hundred percent of it is self-made. Of course, like with you guys. I mean, I would have nothing without an audience, and without people who trust me enough to work with me or be in my spaces. So, it's actually co-created, what I have with Spirit School, because of all of you. But I just feel like I'm meant to be self-made.
Revisiting My Expectations in the Spiritual Space
So, I'm just going to assume life with that moving forward and try to not have expectations. Because a lot of this too is just like being blindsided by people not holding up their end, which I have no control over. So, maybe I have to stop expecting that other people out there are like me, and maybe I am a little bit more of the rarity. But if I'm in a position of influence and I have a hundred people who invest monthly to hang out with me and listen to me and learn from me, then I think that I have really important work to do, so that the people who study under me get a different experience out there than I had and my mentor had. And I don't know how things were the generation before that. I really don't. But I do know what my mentor's experiences were, and I know what mine are, and I know that I desire my children and the people who are coming up after me to have a much more collaborative experience because this is a lonely path. And I have never experienced what my clients have experienced, but I get to experience joy knowing that I am almost the creator of that space, if you will, and that other people get those type of experiences in my spaces.
Generosity as Healing in the Spiritual Space
And I think that I may not see the ripple effect of what that really creates over the course of time in my lifetime, but I'm okay with that too. I just feel like the trade I get for it, the return I get from it, is questions like this. It's the fact that you see it. It's the fact that you see that it's different and that you could choose as a light worker moving forward, what approach you're gonna take as a teacher. How you're going to use your influence with your audience. So, is it healing? Yeah, but it's kind of healing on the go. You know, she made a comment here saying, you know, I just get the sense that this has been an aspect of the healing that you've had. And yeah, but I'm healing on the go. I'm not healed. I still get heartbroken. I still feel like the worthiness questions come up, but they have less of an influence on me and they have less impact on me as time goes on.
The Drive to do Things Differently in the Spiritual Space
And the more that I experience this, to be honest with you, it drives me to do things differently. And I think too, with that drive, I have to say, I've always had that drive. I grew up very poor. And I'm sorry if my parents are listening because I want them to know too, I had a great childhood. You know what I mean? Like I did. And I didn't actually realize what we didn't have until I got older. But even as a young kid, I knew that if I wanted the new LA light shoes that light up, now those were revolutionary in the early 90s, I would have to pay for it myself. And that didn't deter me. I was like, Fine, I'll go make some money. And I would. I would go knock on doors and I would go wash people's car. I would bake brownies and go sell them. You know, like this is obviously, I think when the world was a lot more oblivious to the lack of safety in the world, because I don't think we're any safer today than we were back then. But I would literally go out there and make my own magic. If I wanted shoes, I was gonna pay for those shoes. I have always been like that. I have. And that's just something I was born with.
Working Harder in the Face of Adversity
So, whether that's my Scorpio rising, whether that's my cosmic makeup, whether that's what the creator needed to put in me because they knew what work they were gonna have me do, I don't know, but I have always had that drive. And anytime I have been faced with an adversary, or anytime I have been faced with somebody who says, you can't, or you stay here because you're not worthy of going there. You know, I haven't gotten a lot of jobs because of ageism. It made me wanna work harder.
Sharing the Light when Confronted with the Shadow Side of Spiritual Businesses
So, when things like this happened to. What does it make me wanna do? It makes me wanna do the opposite. It makes me want to promote my clients even more. It makes me wanna share the light even more. It makes me want to be a bigger driver of change in this space. That's all it does. And maybe that's why it keeps happening to me, because it is a motivator for me to do things very differently.
Light and Shadow in Life and Business
Now, keep in mind, I never call people out. Hopefully this doesn't even feel like a call out, to be honest with you, because that's not my jam and that's not my brand, and that's not what I'm trying to do here. But what I am trying to do is really share with you the other side that you might not see. It has been one of the most expansive, abundant, beautiful, magical months of my life, but I've had an equal part of shit happen too. Okay. A lot. I've been called names. A lot has happened. I've told you all this, right? Just know that no matter which way you go in your life, no matter which path you choose, you're gonna have the light and you're gonna have the shadow. That's the experience that we signed up for and that's kind of what we're doing here.
What Are You Going to Do in the Face of that Shadow?
But what are you going to do in the face of that shadow? And I think that that really can separate for you, what will happen next? And I hope I'm making a lot of sense here, but it's like, you know, if you let that shadow swallow you up and carry you down with it, then there's not gonna be a whole lot of change happening. But for me, I'm like, okay, shadow, we're gonna thrive anyways. Why? Because I declare it so. You know, we talk about declarations before too. So, that's just my personality. That's just the way I am.
Revisiting How I Choose Podcast Guests
And yeah, hopefully this helps and I will continue to be the mentor and I will continue to be the light worker that shares other people. Though this does make me not want to bring larger people onto my podcast anymore, I've kind of just come to terms, I'm just gonna ask my friends to come on. I'm gonna ask people who I think are good people to come on. And not just because they have larger audiences or it would be mutually beneficial. I'm just gonna interview my friends and people that I know are good people. That's how I've always done it and I'm gonna continue doing it like that and hopefully you guys continue to enjoy it.
Never Lose Yourself to Vanity Metrics
And if I could say one thing on that, in closing, never lose yourself to vanity metrics. Okay? Never lose yourself to people who have like larger audiences or claim to be making X amount of money or, you know, I'm gonna go onto this because they have so many followers, or I'm gonna sign up for their thing because they have like 85 posts. Some of the shadiest things I've invested in had hundreds of testimonials to it. And I'm like, How did you get all these? Like what the what? So please just, go with your gut. Listen to somebody. See what kind of resonance you have with them from that place. Okay? Just use your own internal guidance system on this, okay? That's your light. That's your connection to source. Like it's all inside of you.
Bringing the Shadow Side to Light
So, really forgo the vanity metrics, even within your own practices. You only have a hundred followers? Awesome. Talk to those hundred people. Don't look for the next hundred. Talk to the hundred that you have in front of you. Okay. Just stop chasing things that you think will be good for you because they look so pretty and good, because you really don't know the shadowy side unless people talk about it. So, that was a whole lot of blah. We'll see if Andrea ends up editing all that out, but this is what I felt like talking today. I hope you enjoyed it, the real snapshot into the not so pretty side of my spiritual business, and I'm sure many others. And I hope it helps you in decisions that you make moving forward and how you choose to show up in your own communities, your own relationships, your own circles.
Thank you. Come into Spirit School anytime.